I just tried to watch Masterchef. Why do we need all the American false jeopardy music and trumped up fake tension? They are cooking a bit of dinner not defusing a bomb in a primary school FFS! As for India Fisher's stroke victim voice over, how does that fit in? Surely they should have a man on fire running around on broken glass to do it now. At least it would fit with the DRAMA. Fuck me it’s DRAMATIC isn’t it…. Isn’t it?. The drama isn’t even consistent, one minute the tenderness of the pan fried Cod could save mankind from impending doom, then they lapse into Keane because it turns out the fat ugly woman can cook too.. ahhh.. anyway, BACK TO THE DRAMA! Fuck me, if this cake goes wrong we are all going to be burned to death with acid!
Thank fuck Arsenal v Barcelona was a decent watch this evening, well done you Gurners, or whatever it is you call yourselves, Arse Having’s winning goal was enjoyable at least. I even got a little excited and let out an involuntary “yay!”. And all without the aid of a team of Kodo drummers and a brass section.
Dear BBC, some things are exciting, like a close football or Rugby match, other things are entertaining for other reasons. Masterchef used to be in the latter camp. People that like food and cooking enjoyed it as it was. Now we hate it becuase YOU thought we were so thick we needed it jazzing up! Tossers!
